Of course it all melted but it snowed again this morning. I'm hoping to get their sleds out soon! Fingers crossed.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Thursday, February 2, 2012
No Good Approach - Update
Thank you for the feedback. I don't know what I would do without my readers.
What I should have written in my last post is that I think my mom is great with my kids. She sings with them, dances with them, makes them capes out of blankets, puts socks on their heads, reads them books, cooks for them, and takes them for short walks in their wagon. The twins and I are very lucky to have her in our lives.
Tuesday when I got home from work, the tension was buried. Grandma and I chatted about the kids and the day's events, and she offered to pick up some egg-free waffles for me at the store. All good but not forgotten by either of us. The fact that we have to see each other and speak to each other because of the twins is a plus in this situation. We can't completely avoid each other.
Wednesday afternoon, I sent her an email. It cleared the air. For now. She took my (poorly approached) question as pointing out a mistake. She tends to take things personally no matter who she's talking to. I reiterated that I was curious, acknowledged that I could be wrong about the boys misunderstanding her, and told her that I will continue to wonder about a lot of things. I said that we have to be able to communicate. She agreed and told me not to be afraid to bring things up in the future. It's a step in the right direction.
I'd also like to add that it's difficult to detect (or perhaps for me to describe) tone in a post. The tone of the start of the conversation with my mom on Tuesday morning was light. I was delicate because I know she can be insecure and get defensive easily.
In response to comments:
I know in a day care setting I won't be there to see how things are done. It's not only possible but probable that some things would be done differently than I would do them. Hopefully for the better but possibly not. If it's something that I think matters, and I witness it or hear about it, I will probably question it. I would think (hope!) the day care teacher could have an adult conversation with me about it. Would I question a teacher who was playing that "Don't Smile" game? No. I don't feel so strongly about that where I think that would be necessary. I said it to my mom as a question; it was me wondering. There's no other adult in my house or in my life on a daily basis for me to bounce things off of. And I'm a bouncer. I like to analyze and talk things out and I question things as part of my process to understand. It doesn't rule me; I take bits of advice that seem to make sense and that work for my family, combine them with my instincts as a new mom and hope for the best. I don't lose sleep over it. Not yet.
Lindsey, you brought up some great points. Your comments gave me the push I needed to clear the air. I do know how lucky I am to be able to have the twins spend time with their grandma. I know she won't be around forever, (she'll be 73 in March), and that there is a place for silliness. I'm on the fence about sarcasm in the boys' lives right now but the real issue is our lack of ability (mine and hers) to talk about things. Also, one reason why I am considering some child care outside the house is because, unlike Fiona, the twins don't have regular exposure to other kids or a variety of activity. Their little circle consists of me and my mom, the sitter, my cousins, aunts and uncles who they mostly only see on holidays, and visits from my friends -some with kids, most without, none with small kids. (And their mama is NOT crafty or creative. Unlike you. :))
If/when I change the child care routine, it would be one or two days in a classroom setting (or one or a half day more with the sitter). This would probably equate to one less day at most of Grandma watching them. She would still spend almost as many waking hours with the twins as I do. Chances are because of Sweet Potato's allergies and the cost of child care/pre-school, they probably won't be going anywhere until they're old enough for UPK.
I don't think this topic is closed by any means. Unfortunately, for my readers, I will likely complain about my mother again. I do feel better today about my relationship with her than I did yesterday. Time will tell. Thanks for listening! It really does take a village.
What I should have written in my last post is that I think my mom is great with my kids. She sings with them, dances with them, makes them capes out of blankets, puts socks on their heads, reads them books, cooks for them, and takes them for short walks in their wagon. The twins and I are very lucky to have her in our lives.
Tuesday when I got home from work, the tension was buried. Grandma and I chatted about the kids and the day's events, and she offered to pick up some egg-free waffles for me at the store. All good but not forgotten by either of us. The fact that we have to see each other and speak to each other because of the twins is a plus in this situation. We can't completely avoid each other.
Wednesday afternoon, I sent her an email. It cleared the air. For now. She took my (poorly approached) question as pointing out a mistake. She tends to take things personally no matter who she's talking to. I reiterated that I was curious, acknowledged that I could be wrong about the boys misunderstanding her, and told her that I will continue to wonder about a lot of things. I said that we have to be able to communicate. She agreed and told me not to be afraid to bring things up in the future. It's a step in the right direction.
I'd also like to add that it's difficult to detect (or perhaps for me to describe) tone in a post. The tone of the start of the conversation with my mom on Tuesday morning was light. I was delicate because I know she can be insecure and get defensive easily.
In response to comments:
I know in a day care setting I won't be there to see how things are done. It's not only possible but probable that some things would be done differently than I would do them. Hopefully for the better but possibly not. If it's something that I think matters, and I witness it or hear about it, I will probably question it. I would think (hope!) the day care teacher could have an adult conversation with me about it. Would I question a teacher who was playing that "Don't Smile" game? No. I don't feel so strongly about that where I think that would be necessary. I said it to my mom as a question; it was me wondering. There's no other adult in my house or in my life on a daily basis for me to bounce things off of. And I'm a bouncer. I like to analyze and talk things out and I question things as part of my process to understand. It doesn't rule me; I take bits of advice that seem to make sense and that work for my family, combine them with my instincts as a new mom and hope for the best. I don't lose sleep over it. Not yet.
Lindsey, you brought up some great points. Your comments gave me the push I needed to clear the air. I do know how lucky I am to be able to have the twins spend time with their grandma. I know she won't be around forever, (she'll be 73 in March), and that there is a place for silliness. I'm on the fence about sarcasm in the boys' lives right now but the real issue is our lack of ability (mine and hers) to talk about things. Also, one reason why I am considering some child care outside the house is because, unlike Fiona, the twins don't have regular exposure to other kids or a variety of activity. Their little circle consists of me and my mom, the sitter, my cousins, aunts and uncles who they mostly only see on holidays, and visits from my friends -some with kids, most without, none with small kids. (And their mama is NOT crafty or creative. Unlike you. :))
If/when I change the child care routine, it would be one or two days in a classroom setting (or one or a half day more with the sitter). This would probably equate to one less day at most of Grandma watching them. She would still spend almost as many waking hours with the twins as I do. Chances are because of Sweet Potato's allergies and the cost of child care/pre-school, they probably won't be going anywhere until they're old enough for UPK.
I don't think this topic is closed by any means. Unfortunately, for my readers, I will likely complain about my mother again. I do feel better today about my relationship with her than I did yesterday. Time will tell. Thanks for listening! It really does take a village.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
No Good Approach
I'm not going to apologize this time. I'm not going to call myself ungrateful. I know how lucky I am that she helps me. I know I would be more broke than I already am, be more anxious, be sleeping less, and have more to do at home if she wasn't helping me. I am not sorry this time. I am grateful. I am also frustrated.
This morning I got into another disagreement with my mother. I knew it would happen. I wanted to talk about something she was doing that I didn't like. I debated bringing it up but it's been happening for awhile. I ignored it at first thinking it would pass. It didn't and it bugs me. Sometimes things bug people for no good reason. I realize that. And the longer I waited to say something, the more it would bug me. I debated as I was getting ready for work listening to her interact with the babies (and use this phrase) the best approach to use to bring it up. Clearly I picked the wrong one. I asked her to not say -wait, I didn't even ask; I approached it as I was wondering if- something she was saying to the twins was confusing.
Me: "So I was thinking about something.... "
Her: "Uh oh (funny). What?"
Me: "Do you think when you say 'Whatever you do, don't smile!' to the boys, it is confusing? We are saying "don't" but laughing and encouraging them to smile."
Her: "No! The Dynamo knows exactly what I mean!"
Me: "Really? You think he gets that you are trying to get him to keep a straight face? We use the word don't when we don't want them to do something. Now it's being used and when they do the opposite, we laugh."
Her (defensively): "Fine. I won't say it anymore."
Me: "You don't have to get defensive."
Her: "Yes, I do. They're not stupid!" (Can I just add that I LOVE when she makes remarks like this.)
I left for work and she was clearly mad at me.
This is about more than what she was doing. This is also about how she and I communicate with each other. If we can't communicate, it's going to put a big(ger) strain on our relationship. As the twins get older, there are going to be more things I want done (or not done) a specific way. I will be wrong sometimes. I will be irrational and naive and over-protective and paranoid and silly sometimes. If we can't communicate, it won't matter if she's right or her ideas are better than mine. Anytime I try to discuss something I don't agree with her about, and I try to be aware of my approach, she turns defensive. She dismisses me, agrees to do it my way, and makes off-handed comments like, "They're not stupid": meaning my 17 month-olds know she's joking, or "Well, I don't like to see him upset!": implying that I do when I choose not to give in when one of them is not getting his way and is throwing a fit.
What do I do?
I've tried a mature, calm, sit-down, face-to-face approach. Again, she gets defensive and dismissive. I've tried email. Sometimes I get a better response but typically she misses things in email so I don't think she reads them thoroughly. I don't believe email is the best form of communication but I think it does work in some situations.
Last Tuesday night the Dynamo was tired and hungry. I had just put him and Sweet Potato in their booster seats at the table for dinner and the Dynamo wanted out. Grandma went to take him out and I told her not to. I would never get him back in the chair and it was dinner time and he was hungry and tired. So she stood there about five feet from him with disapproval written all over her face -facing him no less and making him more upset. Then she said, "Well I don't like to see him upset!" I told her if she didn't want to hear him cry, then she should go. (It was time for her to go anyway.) He quieted down about five minutes after she was gone and let me feed him his dinner. She didn't talk to me the next day.
I think if she watched the kids less, it might help.
I have plans to change the child care routine but I don't know when and what those plans are yet. I've always said I wanted the twins to attend a structured daycare/classroom type environment part-time in toddlerhood for the experience. Before Sweet Potato's allergy diagnoses, I think I would have been considering it sooner than I am now. With the extra layer of complexity his food allergies bring, I'm not in as much of a hurry to do this but I still want to eventually.
There are some other reasons I'd like her to watch them less too. Occasionally, on the weekends, I'll ask her to sit with them for an hour while I get my hair cut or run another errand. On Monday before the sitter came over (I work a later shift), she stayed with the Dynamo while Sweet Potato and I went to Toddler Gym. I'd like to keep doing things like that and alternating one-on-one time with the babies. It's easier for me to ask her to cover these types of things when she hasn't already been watching them for a long work day. She would never say no - even when she's tired. In fact, one day she showed up at my house before I went to work looking exhausted. I offered to happily stay home from work (more baby time for Mommy!) and long story short, she got ticked and thought that I didn't think she could handle them. Or some such crap. She made some hurtful comments and I did email her when I got to work and told her I was hurt by them. She didn't respond.
My sitter is awesome. It's a completely different dynamic when she watches the twins from when Grandma is there. Which I would expect a little bit anyway from a grandma. The sitter would pick up another day or half-day day each week if I needed it. I would love to have her there more and Grandma there less. My checkbook would not like this. I pay my mom a flat rate per week and the sitter is hourly. While I could adjust my mother's cost down (awkward) to help compensate, it will still cost me more to have the sitter there. I am still strongly considering this even though the thought of bringing it up to her scares the hell out of me.
At the end of the day, I'm the mother and what I say goes. I know that and she knows that. But I need her. And the twins need her. Last weekend we were busy and she didn't come over at all. The twins and I had a great weekend and I didn't feel any tension. I want more of that. Less Grandma time might be the answer but I have no idea how to get there. What would you do if you were me?
This morning I got into another disagreement with my mother. I knew it would happen. I wanted to talk about something she was doing that I didn't like. I debated bringing it up but it's been happening for awhile. I ignored it at first thinking it would pass. It didn't and it bugs me. Sometimes things bug people for no good reason. I realize that. And the longer I waited to say something, the more it would bug me. I debated as I was getting ready for work listening to her interact with the babies (and use this phrase) the best approach to use to bring it up. Clearly I picked the wrong one. I asked her to not say -wait, I didn't even ask; I approached it as I was wondering if- something she was saying to the twins was confusing.
Me: "So I was thinking about something.... "
Her: "Uh oh (funny). What?"
Me: "Do you think when you say 'Whatever you do, don't smile!' to the boys, it is confusing? We are saying "don't" but laughing and encouraging them to smile."
Her: "No! The Dynamo knows exactly what I mean!"
Me: "Really? You think he gets that you are trying to get him to keep a straight face? We use the word don't when we don't want them to do something. Now it's being used and when they do the opposite, we laugh."
Her (defensively): "Fine. I won't say it anymore."
Me: "You don't have to get defensive."
Her: "Yes, I do. They're not stupid!" (Can I just add that I LOVE when she makes remarks like this.)
I left for work and she was clearly mad at me.
This is about more than what she was doing. This is also about how she and I communicate with each other. If we can't communicate, it's going to put a big(ger) strain on our relationship. As the twins get older, there are going to be more things I want done (or not done) a specific way. I will be wrong sometimes. I will be irrational and naive and over-protective and paranoid and silly sometimes. If we can't communicate, it won't matter if she's right or her ideas are better than mine. Anytime I try to discuss something I don't agree with her about, and I try to be aware of my approach, she turns defensive. She dismisses me, agrees to do it my way, and makes off-handed comments like, "They're not stupid": meaning my 17 month-olds know she's joking, or "Well, I don't like to see him upset!": implying that I do when I choose not to give in when one of them is not getting his way and is throwing a fit.
What do I do?
I've tried a mature, calm, sit-down, face-to-face approach. Again, she gets defensive and dismissive. I've tried email. Sometimes I get a better response but typically she misses things in email so I don't think she reads them thoroughly. I don't believe email is the best form of communication but I think it does work in some situations.
Last Tuesday night the Dynamo was tired and hungry. I had just put him and Sweet Potato in their booster seats at the table for dinner and the Dynamo wanted out. Grandma went to take him out and I told her not to. I would never get him back in the chair and it was dinner time and he was hungry and tired. So she stood there about five feet from him with disapproval written all over her face -facing him no less and making him more upset. Then she said, "Well I don't like to see him upset!" I told her if she didn't want to hear him cry, then she should go. (It was time for her to go anyway.) He quieted down about five minutes after she was gone and let me feed him his dinner. She didn't talk to me the next day.
I think if she watched the kids less, it might help.
I have plans to change the child care routine but I don't know when and what those plans are yet. I've always said I wanted the twins to attend a structured daycare/classroom type environment part-time in toddlerhood for the experience. Before Sweet Potato's allergy diagnoses, I think I would have been considering it sooner than I am now. With the extra layer of complexity his food allergies bring, I'm not in as much of a hurry to do this but I still want to eventually.
There are some other reasons I'd like her to watch them less too. Occasionally, on the weekends, I'll ask her to sit with them for an hour while I get my hair cut or run another errand. On Monday before the sitter came over (I work a later shift), she stayed with the Dynamo while Sweet Potato and I went to Toddler Gym. I'd like to keep doing things like that and alternating one-on-one time with the babies. It's easier for me to ask her to cover these types of things when she hasn't already been watching them for a long work day. She would never say no - even when she's tired. In fact, one day she showed up at my house before I went to work looking exhausted. I offered to happily stay home from work (more baby time for Mommy!) and long story short, she got ticked and thought that I didn't think she could handle them. Or some such crap. She made some hurtful comments and I did email her when I got to work and told her I was hurt by them. She didn't respond.
My sitter is awesome. It's a completely different dynamic when she watches the twins from when Grandma is there. Which I would expect a little bit anyway from a grandma. The sitter would pick up another day or half-day day each week if I needed it. I would love to have her there more and Grandma there less. My checkbook would not like this. I pay my mom a flat rate per week and the sitter is hourly. While I could adjust my mother's cost down (awkward) to help compensate, it will still cost me more to have the sitter there. I am still strongly considering this even though the thought of bringing it up to her scares the hell out of me.
At the end of the day, I'm the mother and what I say goes. I know that and she knows that. But I need her. And the twins need her. Last weekend we were busy and she didn't come over at all. The twins and I had a great weekend and I didn't feel any tension. I want more of that. Less Grandma time might be the answer but I have no idea how to get there. What would you do if you were me?
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Blogger Comments
Is anyone else having trouble leaving comments? Email me if you have any tips! It's quite frustrating.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
3 Days
Day 1- Saturday morning I attended a meeting for a support group for parents of children with food allergies. I found this local group from this website: http://www.foodallergy.org/ and am so glad that I did. Most of the parents I met have children who are older than Sweet Potato and many have multiple children with allergies -who have multiple allergies. (Sweet Potato is highly allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, and egg whites and also has a cat allergy.) It was emotional but comforting for me just to be there. I'm still trying to process the fact that my son has life threatening allergies. Like the infertilitly/loss/adoption online community I am a part of, the members of this group GET IT and I am finding out already in the four months since Sweet Potato's diagnosis how much I need that.
Day 2- On Sunday I met some work friends and their kids at the children's museum of play. Thankfully my awesome friend, Christine, accompanied us because watching two toddlers in 282,000 square feet of a kid's museum would have been difficult without help! This place is awesome. There's a re-creation of Sesame Street, a miniature grocery store where kids can shop and even scan their own groceries, and there are books and activities at every turn. It also houses the National Toy Hall of Fame, a carousel and train which surprisingly the Dynamo rode on with me. (Sweet Potato has ridden a kids train before but the Dynamo refused!) It was a great time and this place is close to home. I may consider a membership as the kids get older (admission for them is free until age 2) if my budget allows.
Day 3- On Mondays I work a later shift - from 12 noon to 9 PM. While it stinks to not be able to put the twins to bed, I actually get more awake time with them on Mondays since they are now (pretty much) napping once a day starting at 12:00 PM. My local rec center has open toddler gym weekday mornings and Fabulous D and I took the twins yesterday. It was so much fun. Well that is, until the Dynamo tripped into a ride-on toy face first. No injury, just tears. It was still way worth the trip and I am hoping to make our visits a habit. This may be a great opportunity for one-on-one time with Mommy if I can drop off one baby at Grandma's - although we loved that Fabulous D came with us! Any time with her for me or the twins is a treat!
Day 2- On Sunday I met some work friends and their kids at the children's museum of play. Thankfully my awesome friend, Christine, accompanied us because watching two toddlers in 282,000 square feet of a kid's museum would have been difficult without help! This place is awesome. There's a re-creation of Sesame Street, a miniature grocery store where kids can shop and even scan their own groceries, and there are books and activities at every turn. It also houses the National Toy Hall of Fame, a carousel and train which surprisingly the Dynamo rode on with me. (Sweet Potato has ridden a kids train before but the Dynamo refused!) It was a great time and this place is close to home. I may consider a membership as the kids get older (admission for them is free until age 2) if my budget allows.
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| The Dynamo among some Sesame Street characters I have never heard of! |
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| Sweet Potato could have played with this stove all afternoon. |
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| The caption I put on FB for this one was he looks just me when I grocery shop - determined and in a hurry! |
Day 3- On Mondays I work a later shift - from 12 noon to 9 PM. While it stinks to not be able to put the twins to bed, I actually get more awake time with them on Mondays since they are now (pretty much) napping once a day starting at 12:00 PM. My local rec center has open toddler gym weekday mornings and Fabulous D and I took the twins yesterday. It was so much fun. Well that is, until the Dynamo tripped into a ride-on toy face first. No injury, just tears. It was still way worth the trip and I am hoping to make our visits a habit. This may be a great opportunity for one-on-one time with Mommy if I can drop off one baby at Grandma's - although we loved that Fabulous D came with us! Any time with her for me or the twins is a treat!
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| Ball! Ball! Ball! Ball! |
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| Fabulous D and the Dynamo. Two Fabulous Ds! |
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| Contrary to their facial expressions, they do enjoy playing together! |
Monday, January 2, 2012
New Year, New Schedule?
I should write something profound about 2011, about changing jobs after 17 years, about the many changes with the twins as they aged from 4 months old to 16 months.
Or maybe I should write about my goals for 2012, about my grand plan to make this year as successful as possible and add in some new year's resolutions.
Nah.
Instead Im writing about naps. This shouldn't come as a shock since sleep is a topic I wrote about a lot last year. And technically what I'm writing about qualifies as a goal.
Yesterday, January 1st, 2012, the twins switched to one nap a day. Both babies. At the same time. One long nap.
Please let this be the start of a new routine!
For the past several weeks, the Dynamo has been bucking his PM nap. (I am sure I must have blogged about this?) At his 15 month check-up, the pediatrician told me if he was only going to nap once a day, make it in the afternoon. So I kept him up in the morning (or asked the sitter or my mother to) while Sweet Potato went down. The plan was to keep him up all morning and through lunchtime until Sweet Potato went back down in the afternoon but he never made it that far. He would go down early afternoon and Sweet Potato would nap mid-morning and mid-afternoon. This meant there was always a baby awake and no break for Mama. Ugh. The good news is it made for a better rested Dynamo than when he would only nap in the morning. So I guess the pediatrician was right about switching him to the afternoon. He was a happier baby when I would get home from work. But again, this schedule meant a toddler was always awake during the day and I'm so not ready for that.
Yesterday they slept from 12:30 to 3 PM. Two and a half glorious hours for Mama to clean up holiday decorations and organize the garage. I'm back to work today and hoping the sitter is enjoying a break right now too.
Or maybe I should write about my goals for 2012, about my grand plan to make this year as successful as possible and add in some new year's resolutions.
Nah.
Instead Im writing about naps. This shouldn't come as a shock since sleep is a topic I wrote about a lot last year. And technically what I'm writing about qualifies as a goal.
Yesterday, January 1st, 2012, the twins switched to one nap a day. Both babies. At the same time. One long nap.
Please let this be the start of a new routine!
For the past several weeks, the Dynamo has been bucking his PM nap. (I am sure I must have blogged about this?) At his 15 month check-up, the pediatrician told me if he was only going to nap once a day, make it in the afternoon. So I kept him up in the morning (or asked the sitter or my mother to) while Sweet Potato went down. The plan was to keep him up all morning and through lunchtime until Sweet Potato went back down in the afternoon but he never made it that far. He would go down early afternoon and Sweet Potato would nap mid-morning and mid-afternoon. This meant there was always a baby awake and no break for Mama. Ugh. The good news is it made for a better rested Dynamo than when he would only nap in the morning. So I guess the pediatrician was right about switching him to the afternoon. He was a happier baby when I would get home from work. But again, this schedule meant a toddler was always awake during the day and I'm so not ready for that.
Yesterday they slept from 12:30 to 3 PM. Two and a half glorious hours for Mama to clean up holiday decorations and organize the garage. I'm back to work today and hoping the sitter is enjoying a break right now too.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Getting Sucked In
Last Christmas when the babies were nearly four months old, I had it in my head that I would limit the Christmas gift frenzy this year and onward. While I am not religious, the commercialization of Christmas bothers me. Maybe that makes me a hypocrite, I don't know.
This year, for our family celebration on December 25th with just my mom, I think I did pretty well staying on task. The babies received one gift each from Santa (not that they have any idea who he is), one gift each from Mommy, and three gifts to share from Grandma. They had smaller separate celebrations with close friends and our sitter before Christmas with gift exchanges and those were terrific.
Frenziness did ensue, however, on Christmas Eve. When I was growing up, my mother, brothers and I spent Christmas Eve at my Grandparent's house with my aunts, uncles and cousins. There were eight or nine kids depending on the year and five or six adults with some others stopping in throughout the night. My grandpa passed out gifts and my uncle would sometimes dress up as Santa. For our large group, we had a nice turkey dinner and opened gifts in a fairly small house and it was not a frenzy.
Fast forward thirty-ish years, my grandparents have passed, and the celebration is now held at my cousin's house. My cousin and his wife are the parents to boy-girl twins who will be three years old in February. My aunt and uncles and another cousin and her husband and her three children, an 11 year-old girl and twin 5 year-old boys, also attend. (Yes, there are three sets of twins in our family.)
Now I don't know if it's because my cousin and his wife went through a decade of fertility treatments before they had children or if over-indulgence is just who they are, but the toy room in this house looks like an indoor playground I should have to pay admission for. They have always been over-the-top when it comes to their kids. For their first birthday party, they rented out a facility and hired an adult dressed as Mickey Mouse to attend (who scared the crap out of their son, by the way). Birthday number two was more of the same - this time Elmo was there.
This Christmas Eve, since my boys are now standing and walking and able to really play with toys, they spent some time in the playroom. It was nice before all the kids showed up and then it was so overwhelming, the Dynamo just looked up at me at one point with terror in his eyes. Later in the night, Sweet Potato just started screaming like he was hurt for no apparent reason. He was on the floor of the family room among much chaos and loud music playing. Poor kid. We left at the beginning of the gift exchange (only gifts for the kids) because it was already 45 minutes past the babies' bedtime. I felt horrible that not only did I not get to see my cousin's kids open gifts from me, their parents didn't get to see my kids open the gifts they bought.
I'm torn about how to handle this tradition. My mother says a little chaos in their lives is good and maybe she's right but I wonder if it's really worth it. As they get older, they are going to see and realize what their cousins have compared to what they don't have and that might not be a bad thing for them to see -eventually. Next year at age two and the year after at age three, I see this as a potential nightmare. And to be a bit selfish, Christmas Eve at the relatives was a high stress time for me. It's difficult for me to keep an eye on both of them and although my mom helps, she gets distracted with family.
I considered skipping the event this year but reconsidered since this is the only family the twins are exposed to. My brothers live out of state and they have never met them, my father and grandparents are gone. The good news is I have almost an entire year to figure it out.
Kindle Alert! Life from Scratch
The Kindle version of Life from Scratch is currently only 99 cents! Support Mel and go get it! I just did and can't wait to read it.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Visiting Santa?
Is it wrong that I don't want to take the twins to see Santa yet? I see pictures of babies much younger than my boys sitting on Santa's lap and with the exception of this great photo from Sarah, there is usually some unhappiness going on. I'm almost positive Santa would scare the crap out of the Dynamo and Sweet Potato would likely be perplexed and pull his beard. (And it's not like I get many pictures of Sweet Potato smiling anyway since his interest immediately goes to the camera in his face.)
Babies screaming on Santa's lap for some reason are not that appealing to me. I know people find it funny. Ellen DeGeneres highlights Bad Santa Photos on her show so they must be funny, right? Because I think she's hilarious.
Perhaps I am an unconventional mother who's desire not to scare her babies is stronger than her desire to get a picture of them visiting Santa Claus. Am I going to regret it if I don't take them? Will they wonder when they're older why they didn't see Santa when they were 1? I mean I'm considering waiting until they are 4 years old! Or maybe 3.
What age did you first take your little ones to sit on Santa's lap and how did it go?
Babies screaming on Santa's lap for some reason are not that appealing to me. I know people find it funny. Ellen DeGeneres highlights Bad Santa Photos on her show so they must be funny, right? Because I think she's hilarious.
Perhaps I am an unconventional mother who's desire not to scare her babies is stronger than her desire to get a picture of them visiting Santa Claus. Am I going to regret it if I don't take them? Will they wonder when they're older why they didn't see Santa when they were 1? I mean I'm considering waiting until they are 4 years old! Or maybe 3.
What age did you first take your little ones to sit on Santa's lap and how did it go?
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