Saturday, June 26, 2010

I Gots Da Sugar

First off I want to thank you for the supportive comments on my last post.  You guys always come through for me in a big way.  I teared up the first time I read them. 

So, as the title indicates, I gots da sugar - gestational diabetes.  I failed miserably on two out of the four blood pokes for the three-hour glucose test.  My fasting level was good - below normal (73), next level was 205 (yikes), the level after that was 209 (double yikes!) and then the last level was back to normal (74).

I met with a nutritionist yesterday and got my diabetes monitoring kit.  YAY - more needles!  And four times a day!  Yippee!  Honestly, it's not that bad.  Granted I've only been at it for a day but so far, so good.  My problem apparently is processing food.  We talked for an hour about carbs, I got a meal plan and chart of what foods have how many carbs.  I've been a good soldier and all my self tests so far have been low except for one.  I have to go back and meet with the nurse on Monday.  I'm concerned about my boys and the effect this has had on them and hope they are and will be okay.

Besides changing my eating habits including eating three meals and three snacks per day, they want me to exercise after each meal.  I've been trying to keep my feet up to reduce the Fred Flintstone ankles but I need to just ignore them I guess and get moving.  I will do whatever they tell me if it means my boys will be healthy.  Time will tell.

In other news, I am shopping this weekend for a dress for my baby showers!  Pretty excited about that.  I am having a small work shower in two weeks and then a only slightly bigger family/friends shower at Fabulous D's house in three weeks.  I am buying one dress for both.  I'm sure I'm not the only one who is not a fan of spending money on maternity clothes that will only be worn a short time.

One more thing - I have some left over injectible meds from my last cycle.  Some expire this fall, some next spring.  I was waiting until viability (24 weeks) to donate them (don't ask me why - not sure I would have endured another cycle - maybe it was the jinx factor).  Anyway, the weeks got away from me since today I am 28 weeks and I meant to post something about them sooner.  I was fortunate enough to have some prescription coverage and understand how incredibly expensive TTC can be for the less fertile.  If you have an upcoming cycle and need injectible meds, send me an email with your protocol and I'll get back to you.  The generosity of this community is so incredible - I'd like to pay it forward.

Sunday, June 20, 2010


I knew it was going to happen.  Eventually.  I mean it had to, right?  With all the hormones floating about and me just being me, the time had to come where I would feel down... sad... fearful.  I've had what I think is a very good, if not great, pregnancy so far especially considering I'm carrying two.  Early morning sickness which wasn't too bad, being tired and extra fluid don't strike me as that bad.  I know many of you have had so much worse just TTC. 

The sadness started Friday when I got the results of my glucose tolerance test:  Elevated.  Drat.  Now I have to endure the 3-hour test.  While the logical part of me knows this can just happen in pregnancy, I feel like I've let these boys down.  I don't have a huge sweet tooth but I admit I don't always eat enough good foods and really haven't lately.  I could have done better.  I should have done better.  I'm trying to do better now. 

Here it is Sunday and I'm still feeling down thinking I've been irresponsible and lazy with my eating habits.  Not to mention my prenatal vitamins sometimes make me feel nauseous so I haven't always been taking them.  I might skip a day or two here and there if I'm already feeling a tinge of yuck before bedtime (which is when I take them.)  Of course I am going to be diligent now; that's for sure. 

Why does it take something like a blood test with the potential to be bad to get me to do the right thing?   

In other news, I had "baby school" yesterday.  My mom and I attended Child & Infant CPR in the morning and then Breastfeeding in the afternoon at the hospital where I will be delivering.  Both classes were pretty good but mom was tired and I was down.  I was snappish and she was ditzy.  Not a great combination.  I booked these classes months ago and asked her if she wanted to attend and she was thrilled at the time.  Not only did she forget what time the first class started, she was shocked to hear it was "all day".  I was clear - these were 3-hour classes with and hour break in between.  Whatever.  She gets like that when's she's tired - which is alot.... which scares me... a little.  Then at lunch she makes a remark out of the blue like, "I'd like, if you will allow it, to show these boys a continuity of family."  What the hell does that mean?  (and yes, I said that much to her dismay).  The boys immediate local family - Me and Her.  She's going to be staying with me around the clock in the beginning and then watching the kids at least two days per week when I go back to work.  They're going to have a "continuity of family" whether I want it or not - and I do want it.   Her comment came from the fact that when my nieces were small, she thinks she wasn't allowed to spend as much time with them as she wanted (a story way too long to go into here).  Still.  "if you will allow it..." ? Give me a break.

I had hoped I would feel better today after eleven-ish hours of sleep and a relaxing day so far at my new home cleaning and organizing.  Not so much yet.  It doesn't help that this expanding belly gets in my way of doing things which frustrates me.  (I am a bitch for complaining about this to you, my readers. I realize this and am sorry. It's where I'm at right now.)  I'm starting (really? starting? duh) to wonder how I'm going to put baby furniture together and do even simple things that require me bending up and down like loading and unloading the dish washer, changing the cat box and even taking out the trash.  And the 3rd trimester doesn't even start until next week. 

And don't get me started about work.  My boss is "not happy" with our relationship now since he pulled the plug on the idea of me working from home which I AM ALREADY doing.  We've talked a bit more - he's nervous I'm going to quit, he nervous how things are going to go when I am on leave and recognizes that while I was gung-ho to help out from home while on maternity leave, I'm no longer willing.  The worst part of the whole thing is the slap in the face I feel which makes me not like my job.  And this is no time for me to not like my job.  Time will tell I guess.  I've started to research child care options in more detail lately.  I really need an idea of costs to help plan what I'm going to do when I go back to work. 

That's enough whining.  Thanks for letting me vent. I suspect today is a crappy day for more than just me considering it's Father's Day.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for all of us.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

25 Weeks

Today marks 25 weeks and while I daydreamed about caring for a baby and being pregnant, for some reason I did not imagine what it would be like to be in the second half of a pregnancy!  Actually, all things considered, it's going pretty well.  My ankles swell up like Fred Flintstone's, I pee ALL the time and am still tired but that's about it.  Not too shabby!  I am grateful for that.

On the work front, I had some bad news a few weeks ago.  While I already work from home when necessary - some of it just because I want to be efficient, some of it because it's work that has to be done after hours - they are not going to let me work from home even one day per week when I return from leave.  I am more hurt than anything else after the sixteen years of dedication and loyalty and the fact that I already do it and am already set up - no addition time or cost to them.  My relationship with my boss has since taken a hit even though deep down I know it's the bigger boss' decision.  She is an old fashioned, narrow minded, {insert nasty word here}.  Their reason? - what if someone else asks to do it.  Seriously?  You say yes or you say no.  It's a small company.  There is no policy, they can do what they want.  And there are only about three positions in the entire company where working from home would be an option.  Ridiculous.  Anyway, all the years of me helping out beyond my duties on weekends, vacations, holidays - Over.  And I offered to help out as much as possible while on maternity leave.  That's no longer an option for them either.  The whole situation is pretty sad.  Apparently they prefer a less dedicated employee with low morale in the office than one who feels appreciated and more rested working from home eight to sixteen hours per week.

But enough of that, my life is good and I am thankful!  I love my new house and am starting to put the nursery together.  I ordered this and love it -

I also found two bassinets at a "twin baby items" garage sale last weekend and have them already cleaned and set up next to my bed.  Love them!

I hope all is well with all my readers - old and new!  I love finding out that my story has reached a new person, a single-mother-by-choice wannabe or not - welcome! :)  I am still reading your stories when I can and am hopeful for all of you.