I mentioned in my last post that my mom will be going away for Thanksgiving. And also New Year's. Not only did she book her flight for New Year's without getting babysitting coverage (a.k.a. asking me to see if the sitter will switch days), she sent me two emails Sunday night:
From: My mom
Sent: Sunday, October 14, 2012 9:30 PM
To: Me
Subject: Thanksgiving
Hi,
Sorry to say, but the trip for
Thanksgiving is going to have to start on Tuesday instead of Wednesday.
That means I can't sit on Tuesday but can on Monday. If [awesome sitter] can switch from
Monday to Tuesday, there'd still be coverage for the boys. Could you
ask her or do you want me to call her?
---------------
From: My mom
Sent: Monday, October 15, 2012 5:23 AM
To: Me
Subject: just remembered
You work late on Mondays, do you think [awesome sitter] could work the late shift, from 5:30 to 9:30?
Sent: Monday, October 15, 2012 5:23 AM
To: Me
Subject: just remembered
You work late on Mondays, do you think [awesome sitter] could work the late shift, from 5:30 to 9:30?
How about, she just says it point blank: "sorry to say, but.. ". Really?
To make it more interesting, she is planning on going to his house this weekend and he is coming back upstate to visit her next weekend. The twins and I have Halloween festivities planned next weekend. It looks like she is choosing to miss those too - specifically a party with Sweet Potato's food allergy group. She attended an event with us and this group in the spring and really enjoyed it.
***
Thank you very much for your comments on my last post. I love the support I get here. In a real emergency, I know I could call Fabulous D or even a neighbor for help. I hope I never have to. The non-emergency emergencies cause me anxiety too. The things I don't want to bother my best friends or my neighbors with but still need someone to be there for. And the times when the twins just plain overwhelm me and I need a break.
Yeah, I hear you.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry.
That sucks, it's obviously unfair to you but if you say anything you will look like the bad guy. A tough spot to be in to say the least. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how disappointing and frustrating this is. Wish we lived close enough to be each others back up plans!
ReplyDeleteI think you can choose to be bitter and angry about this or you can choose to be happy that your mother found someone that clearly makes her happy. What if the shoe was on the other foot and you found someone that pulled you away?
ReplyDeleteI just don't think that you can count on always having her be who you expect her to be, or who/what she's promised in the past. Things change. These are your kids, your family. Focus on what you can control, and make the most of that.
I think I mentioned in my last post how thrilled I am that she found someone. I can choose to be happy for her and I am. Obviously I need to take care of my kids, and my family.
DeleteShe has made a babysitting commitment to me. Not a favor, not a maybe, but a set schedule each week where she watches the kids while I go to work and I pay her for this time. While that agreement is in place, I do expect her to live up to her promise.
"She has made a babysitting commitment to me. Not a favor, not a maybe, but a set schedule each week where she watches the kids while I go to work and I pay her for this time."
ReplyDeleteI realize that she's your mom, but it sounds like she just isn't willing to live up to this commitment any more. I'd be very upset if my sitter did this to me. What I'd probably do (and have done when a sitter was not reliable) is get a new sitter/childcare arrangement. I realize that's easier said than done, but I know my life runs so much better when I have someone I can count on to take care of my kids.
Yes--this is a dilemma that many of us know well: "The non-emergency emergencies cause me anxiety too. The things I don't want to bother my best friends or my neighbors with but still need someone to be there"
ReplyDeleteWe want to save our requests for help for the real emergencies that we know will happen, but what about the times we just need "gap childcare"? I hear you. (And I can also relate to tension and frustration on the grandma front)