Tuesday, August 21, 2012

A Date

(look at me - two posts in two days!  I guess I'm tired of having posts float around in just my head - usually when I am driving, or taking a shower - so I'm going to try and get them out there.)

So yesterday was the work vent.  The issues remain, obviously, and I continue to job search being careful to only apply for positions where on-call rotations are not listed in the posting.  I have applied for probably a half-dozen or so jobs over the past year.  Zero call backs.  I will keep chugging along and see what happens.  Fingers crossed.  The sitter said to me that I need to find a rich man to marry so I can stay home with the boys.  If only it were that easy! 

Which leads me to today's topic - I went on A DATE.  This is the first date I have been on since before the boys were born.  It was a few weeks ago and it was with an old flame.  I've talked about him here before and allowed him to break my heart more than once over the years.  This time though?  No heartbreak. 

He initiated and persisted on taking me to dinner even when my schedule didn't really allow it and I had to change our plans a few times.  We met at the restaurant (my idea) and I admit I got a few butterflies when I saw him in the parking lot but from there, it went down hill.  After our initial updates (both of us have new jobs since we saw each other last, I have a new house, family stuff, etc), he carried on throughout the entire dinner talking about an ex who cheated on him and just moved out of his house.  I had thought all this time that he was just a non-committal workaholic when in fact, the non-committal part was about me.  Duh.  I think I knew (no, I know I knew) this deep down but this time it hit me like a ton of bricks. 

He met the ex online and she has three school-aged children from two prior marriages.  She was still married when they met two and half years ago (a few months after our last date and we have been in touch during that time).  He moved her into his house, remodeled his basement to make room for another bedroom, they talked marriage(!), went to counseling (are you kidding me), and apparently in April when he refused to get a joint checking account with her, she moved out when he wasn't home and into the house of another guy.  And her Facebook status now says "engaged" according to a friend of his (he is not on FB).   But she was still calling him/loved him/wanted him back.  He left his cell phone in his truck during dinner so she wouldn't interrupt us.  You know, because him talking about her the whole time was so much better. 

I sat there in disbelief as he spoke (flagging down our waitress to bring me more wine) and when I finally had a chance to talk - about something else - he got up to LEAVE.  We were done eating and he had paid the check but I literally said to him, "Did you just get up to leave while I'm talking?"  He said, "Oh, I'm sorry", but basically kept on going.  So, this time, (no, really - THIS time) I'm done.  I have new priorities and those two little people I can't wait to see when I get home have changed my attitude.  He's not worth it.  He said he wanted to take me out again.  I didn't answer him at dinner but sent him a text when I got home and told him I wasn't interested.  Then I deleted all his messages and emails.  The end. 

Even though this date was a bust, I'm not throwing in the towel on dating altogether.  Hopefully, I won't have to wait another three years for date number two but I'm also not actively looking (as if I had time).  If something presents itself, I'm open to it.  I'm just glad this time I didn't get sucked back in.  And, hey, at least the food was good.



  1. Bravo so glad you saw him for what he is and did not get sucked into his drama. I have also been thinking about dating again. I know intellectually the right guy has to be out there but I really don't want to date a bunch of toads either.

  2. What a jerk. I still get so surprised at the way some men behave. You will find the right guy. And, personally, this was the right decision. He doesn't deserve any more of your attention. <3

  3. LOL--that's when I write my best posts, in the shower or behind the wheel. Of course, I forget more than half of what I want to say when I finally get to my keyboard.

    Strange guy. Definitely not worth your time. I hope it won't be another 3 years but believe me, I understand why dating can't be a number one priority these days!

  4. Oh wow, so glad that he really showed his true self and you're finally able to get rid of him. Blech. Let's hope the next guy you date is his polar opposite!

  5. wow, what a jerk! It always amazes me when people do crap like that and can't even see how offensive it is. Good for you for deleting him!


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.