Between the headache and symptoms (yay for symptoms!), I haven't been able to post. I've had a new blog post brewing in my head for more than a week and haven't been able to make time to write it until today.
So I am reconsidering my decision to share this blog with family and more friends. How on earth am I going to survive this journey if I can't vent to my blogging family about my IRL family?!
I'm certain this will not be the last post where I bitch about something my mother has done or hasn't done. I love her dearly and we do get along but her mouth.... and her actions....
See for yourself:
A few weeks ago -
Mom: "So I told someone."
Mom: "M." (my oldest brother who I am pretty close to who I wanted to share this news with when I was ready.)
Me: Dropped face. "Why?"
Mom: "He was having a bad day and needed some good news. But I told him to act surprised when you tell him so don't let on that you know." Seriously, she's the parent in this relationship.
Me: sarcastically, "Right. Keep the lie going."
My brother has an about-to-be thirteen year-old daughter who he tells everything to. She is all over Facebo.ok. I really didn't want her to know and say anything on FB before I am ready to go really public. Not to mention her mother is a kook and could put a negative spin on the situation just for kicks. I didn't want her and her little sister to be subject to that just yet. Not that MY reasons for not telling MY news matter to my mom.
A week later -
Mom: "Oh I told C." (my other brother, who I am not as close with but still.)
Me: "You just can't help yourself, can you?"
Mom: "Well M. couldn't know something C. didnt' know!"
Me: "And whose fault would that have been?"
Fast forward to last weekend and a family birthday party for my cousin's ten year-old daughter. I decide at the last minute to tell my uncles and cousins my news. Everyone seems geniunely happy and pleasantly surprised. One of them asks if my brothers (who both live far away) are excited. I say to ask my mom since she was the one who told them. A unanimous sigh came from them. They get it. They see it is my story to tell, not hers. Her remark, "Well they had a right to know." So she acts like she didn't do anything wrong but clearly knows she did since she told M. to pretend he didn't know. And seriously, I was 8 or 9 weeks when she told them. It wasn't like the entire family knew except them and I was about to pop.
We're going to brawl. I just know it. Not over this. This is done and I'm trying to get over it. It's just a reminder to me of what's likely to come. More of her choices about my life. Ugh.
I have some IRL friends I can vent to but I need to be able to bitch on my blog. So I will remain anonymous for now and re-publish all of my old blog posts.
In other news:
Crinone gel - done! Technically I could have been done last weekend - at 10 wks - but I had some left and was nervous about stopping it so I finished off what I had left. I'm still a little nervous but happy to be done with it!
I apologize again for not commenting as much lately. I am hoping in another few weeks I will feel better and get back to my old online self.
Wednesday is the 1st Trimester screening and the next peek at the babies. Can't wait. Fabulous D will be joining me. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. Wish me luck!!