Halfway Mark! And will it be blue or pink or both?

I can't believe I am halfway through this pregnancy!  My doctor said she won't let me go past 38 weeks so technically I am past halfway since I am 19w2d.  It's such a surprise to me to have made it this far.  Here's some proof and the only photo I have taken of myself throughout this pregnancy -

AND..... I had the anatomic scan today...... 









I'm having 2 BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

MeAndbaby Bits

• Dopplers - While I admit I am jealous when I read other blogs and the author has a Doppler and gets to hear that special sound whenever she wants to, I made the decision not to rent one.  Besides the expense (I'm trying very hard to be frugal right now), the risk of not being able to find the heartbeats because I am inept, and then subsequently freaking out, is too much for me to imagine. The nice part for me is that my doctor told me I can stop in anytime for a heartbeat check in between appointments.  It's not as convenient but it is a nice option for me.  I've already taken her up on it once.  Four weeks between appointments is too long!
• Paranoia - Probably going hand-in-hand with my lack of a rented Doppler, my fear that something will go wrong is still present.  As the weeks tick by, and I keep growing, and I still have symptoms, I do feel a little bit better but as Fabulous D once told me, "you won't stop being nervous until you hold that baby (or in my case, babies) in your arms."   While my current goal is to get to week 24, viability!, once I can feel them moving around, I think I will be more reassured.
• Speaking of Symptoms - all you newly pregnant chicks out there, don't freak out if you don't have symptoms.  I know it's hard and even though I read that sometimes they come later, I still freaked out when I didn't have any.  Especially with betas as high as mine.  I started getting symptoms in week 9.  It came on gradually and the worst symptom (which is still present) is the nasal congestion. That and the horrid taste in my mouth 24/7.  Ick. 
• Losing Game - I jokingly got ticked off at my mother a few weeks ago when she said I was getting bigger and then this past weekend, she told me I looked great and no bigger than the last time she saw me.  I replied with, "What?  Do you think they're still growing??".  She can't win.  In my defense, when she said I was getting bigger, she was referring to my rear end!  No one wants to hear that, pregnant or not.
• Precious Cargo - I recently heard a story of a woman who became such a bitch during each of her pregnancies, it almost broke up her marriage.  Her mood swings were a deciding factor for them to stop after two children.  While I don't think I've been more hormonal than normal, I do find myself with a little road rage.  Mostly it's me dropping F bombs in the car to the idiot across from me who thinks he has the right of way in an intersection when turning left and I'm going straight.  Perhaps it's my instincts kicking in protecting the two extra people joining me in the drivers seat. 
• Education - I signed up for the Infant Care and Safety and Child CPR classes at the hospital.  They will be in June and July and Grandma will be joining me.  I'm looking forward to them.  I'm also considering taking a multiples class at the neighboring big hospital as well.  It's like a regular breathing and relaxation class with an added focus on multiple births.  My cousins told me not to waste my time/money on this type of class if I plan on getting an epidural (which I do).  Anyone have any thoughts on this? 
• Genders! - Yes, I am going to find out what I am having - (currently the top question I am getting).  The big reveal is in less than two weeks!!  I am excited to know but I am more excited to find out all is well.  I have a regular OB appointment next week - or as I like to call it, a date with the Doppler.  Then it will be seven long days to the anatomy scan on 4/26.  I'll be sure to share the news!

Generosity

I feel like I was living in the shadows before I started TTC and got far enough into a pregnancy where I could share my news.  It's opened up a new world to me.  I've seen generosity and compassion that I've never seen before.  Not that it didn't exist - I think I was just not in a position in my life to see it.

When I was TTC and documenting my adventures online, I had no idea the people I would meet and the compassion I would feel from them.  I read about others struggling to build their families too and how the online community responded and reached out to them the way they had reached out to me.  It made me feel blessed to be part of this community.  The mass outpouring of love was nothing I had witnessed before.

And now, as I am starting to show and my news is become widely known in my little world, I am overwhelmed with the generosity of those around me.  Even people who I don't know, friends of friends, are offering to loan me much needed items such as cribs, a changing table, dresser, car seat and double stroller.  I received my first baby gifts - two baby books to document their little lives even now as they are growing inside me all the way to age five.  I am truly touched. 

Here's my first donated item and my crazy kitty checking it out -

I think she approves!  And lucky me, I was able to find the exact same car seat on CraigsList for baby #2.  (Both seats were manufactured within the last three years.)

In other news, I am moving to a new home in a month!  I am excited and freaked out at the same time but mostly excited.  I love, love, love this house.  It seems perfect for me and my new family-to-be.

Also thank you for the birthday wishes a few weeks back!  With everything going on, I barely remembered I had a birthday but your wishes and my IRL friends made sure it didn't go by unnoticed. 

I'm so feeling the love these days!!! :)