tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7379712045771948785.post3532099718530003973..comments2023-05-08T07:11:49.674-04:00Comments on Future Expectations: No Good ApproachMeAndBabyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01621038133156116317noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7379712045771948785.post-87683212880843558162012-02-03T20:18:43.505-05:002012-02-03T20:18:43.505-05:00I can really understand where you're coming fr...I can really understand where you're coming from. While my mom lives many hours away, we tend to have similar interactions. A casually asked question or phrased request can cause lots of hurt feelings. Even though she's a great help with the boys, I can just imagine how exhausting it can be, and frustrating when your attempts at avoiding offending are unsuccessful.<br /><br />I wish I had something more helpful to share than understanding! Though if you figure out the key to communicating with your mom, I hope you let me know what it is!Shannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14647211529119137824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7379712045771948785.post-82876212764635673582012-02-01T13:24:50.619-05:002012-02-01T13:24:50.619-05:00Well, you are asking for advice, so I am going to ...Well, you are asking for advice, so I am going to offer some, even though I hope that it won't be taken the wrong way. Here goes . . . if I were your mom, I would be offended too. That phrase is something people say to kids a lot. My family says it when the kids are pouting to make them happy again: DON'T SMILE! DON'T DO IT! OH NO, YOU SMILED! and it makes them laugh. The thing is, they are smart, and our language is complex, and things like this is how they learn things like sarcasm, and tone and context. These things are huge for language development. Also, it is just plain silly, and silly is important too. So I don't know if there is just some pent up frustration going on between you and your mom and your feelings are more about other things, but I would not have brought this up to her. Here is how I look at it when family members do things in a way I wouldn't do them: unless it is detrimental to their safety or hurting them, I usually let it go. It is a privilege to have people that love your children like you do in their lives. It is also how they learn that everyone is different, and love comes in different forms. It sounds like your mom takes great care of those babies and loves them unconditionally, you should just let her do that. Her way, not your way. Because the time for your way is when you are with the babies. And while I see the merits of a structured daycare, I think that saving money and having the boys get amazing one on one care beats structure any day. There is so much time for structure! You know? Grandma won't be around forever, they will remember her silly games and her love with fondness. That is my two cents, I hope you take it in the spirit it was given: from someone who digs you, and has been there. xoxoLindseyhttp://www.idigress.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7379712045771948785.post-88288905908509805962012-01-31T19:49:42.774-05:002012-01-31T19:49:42.774-05:00I really don't have any experienced advice. I...I really don't have any experienced advice. I just want to say that I can appreciate where you are coming from. I remember my sister going through this with my mom (and her kids are now 15 & 13). I don't worry as much about this for myself as my mom and I do have good communication AND they are not local. Wish I had an answer for you... but I agree that you are the mom, and your mom has to appreciate that you want to raise your boys your way - and they need consistency which means she needs to follow through with your requests. Good luck!!BBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14837140513071674102noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7379712045771948785.post-90645413173863524662012-01-31T19:15:35.900-05:002012-01-31T19:15:35.900-05:00I think that you are going to have to let some thi...I think that you are going to have to let some things go. You say you are wanting the boys to go to a structured daycare...the teachers there will have more than your two to watch. They can't do things "your way". They will have a set way they do it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com